Woolly Gluvs

My friend Joanna Crosby wrote this poem. Read it carefully 🙂


Why am I wearing woolly gluvs
instead of woolly gloaves?
The Christmas spice is not a cluv
– it is, of course, a clove,
and deer don’t run through woodland gruvs
but stand in dappled groves,
and Michael Gove’s called many things – but never Mr Guv.
Ah, but. Did Frank Sinatra croon of loave
or how he’d been a ruvver?
And do you watch a mauvie
or hire a van to help you muv?
There’s always an exception, as I can quickly proave.
So I will wear my woolly gluvs
and look for treasure trove
returning home to warm my hands, beside my kitchen stuv.



Skull Features

When I was about 15 my best friend Sarah and I spent quite a lot of time playing the current craze that was Trivial Pursuit – while playing her dad’s old 1970’s rock records, which I now realise was another sort of education.

So one day we were sitting playing yet another game – my favourite cheeses were green (science), blue or pink – and she liked blue or orange, but preferably blue – geography. She knew all the capital cities, lakes, major rivers etc. We were both a bit precocious and didn’t like when we got questions wrong, which made us competitive, but we were pretty equal so the games usually went along quickly and amicably.

One occasion sticks in my mind though – Skull Features.

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